College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

The officials blew the column dead instead of awarding it to Arkansas like they should have. Unlike Auburn, though, after catching the monster break it shanked the chance for the win.

Because if Arkansas wins another big game, the world as you know it will cease to exist

To whiteboard this, Auburn was down 28-27 in the final seconds against Arkansas and in field goal range. With the clock winding down, Tiger QB Bo Nix fumbled the snap, picked it up, turned, and spiked the ball behind him to stop the clock.

Arkansas recovered what technically was a live ball after Nix fired it into the ground, and that should’ve been it. Hog win, 2-1, Gus Malzahn on a mega hot seat, and …

After a review, it was ruled intentional grounding on an incomplete pass, Auburn ball, field goal, ball game, let’s go take a steam.

And then this got even worse. Instead of simply saying the officials gagged, a blown whistle became the official party line.

Let’s just say Arkansas fans didn’t exactly take any part of this well as they vented on Twitter – and they were in the right.

However, I now get the joy of doing this after hearing it over and over and over and over again, particularly over the last six months.

To the grouchy fans on social media after that all happened …

STICK TO SPORTS.

Yes, there’s a segment of our society that now feels emboldened because, you know, everything, and when it comes to the silly-season rhetoric and buzzwords, no. Hard no.

There’s no “conspiracy” against Arkansas, and no, this wasn’t “rigged” – just like the world didn’t have it out for the program when the revised schedule came out.

Arkansas didn’t get deliberately “cheated” out of the win. It simply got totally hosed by a missed call.

And everybody knows it.

But they haven’t figured out my trick that if you pretend to be totally inept at a household chore, no one will want you to do it

When I first started doing radio appearances on sports shows over 20 years ago, a friend in the business gave me a great piece of advice that I continue to use.

Answer the question you wish you were asked.

It’s a debate tactic that also comes in handy when you’re on a show in Las Vegas and asked about the UNLV backup left guard situation.

I also use this in every day life, especially around the house, like …

Kid: “Dad, did you leave the toilet seat up?”

Me: “Of course I’ll get more Jell-O. Put it on the list.”

My trick was exposed and outed by the family six minutes into the vice presidential debate last week, but I’m not stopping now. To quote Freddie Bauer, when something works for me, I stick with it – and that especially goes for college football.

I will now pivot away from statements I may or may not have uttered or written over the course of the 2020 offseason. So go ahead and call me out, starting with “You said …”

LSU is simply going to reload like Ohio State, Alabama and Clemson do, and be a factor in the national championship chase again.

My pivot response: I’m a fan of Barry Odom’s – he caught a bad break – Eliah Drinkwitz was a great hire by Missouri. It’s going to be a rough year record-wise, but the program is going to be a thorn in everyone’s side.

“You said …” Mississippi State was about to be a thing and KJ Costello was front-and-center in the Heisman chase after the win over LSU.

My pivot response: Why yes, this is going to be a fun and crazy year in the SEC West – outside of whatever Alabama does – and Ole Miss is coming out red hot under Lane Kiffin. The six other non-Tide teams all look like they could beat each other up on any given day.

“You said …”Florida State had the talent in the starting 22 to be a sleeper in the ACC title chase.

My pivot response: I’ve been saying all off-season that NC State could be this year’s Louisville – a program that’s about to revert back to the norm. The Pack might not win the ACC title, but Dave Doeren has created a steady-good program that had one down year.

“You said …”Coastal Carolina was 72 out of 76 teams in the modified preseason rankings.

My pivot response: There aren’t enough bowl spots potentially available for Sun Belt teams. The conference went 3-0 against the Big 12, but the Big 12 is going to load up the bowls with its teams in a year when records don’t necessarily matter for the post-season exhibitions. The Sun Belt might not have the best records as the teams beat each other up, but there will be at least seven teams that deserve the spotlight.

“You said …”The Big Ten had almost no chance of coming back to play in the fall. 

My pivot response: Is it playing yet? No … I’m talking here … it’s Fiumala’s turn … is it playing yet? Has it been able to get through a season? No? You can’t answer the question … why can’t you answer the question? Is … the … Big Ten … playing yet? Okay then …

(Actual pivot response … Get here already, October 24th. I so need Big Ten football already.)

“You said … “Before the season, Texas was a top ten team and should be deep in the mix for the College Football Playoff.

My pivot response: You know, we’re sitting here focusing on a Texas team that can’t tackle, continues to underachieve, and is lucky to not be 0-3 in the Big 12 when we could be focusing on issues that matter to American families at their kitchen table, like this …. 

NEXT: The team that might not be on the verge of blowing up

It's been a battle two decades long, but we're getting closer

I wrote the blurb a few days before this tweet, proving that all overly-handsome men named Peter are on the same page ...

https://twitter.com/PeterBurnsESPN/status/1315691435438604290

Watch out for Texas A&M.

I spent the better part of four years trying to force Michigan State into a Big Ten championship football program.

If you pick a team to do big things long enough, eventually it'll happen, and in 2013 all my hard work paid off with a 13-1 season, a Big Ten title, and a Rose Bowl victory.

I've been in discussions, meetings, and confabs to crank up this Texas A&M program that's bound by absolutely nothing.

It has the right facilities, right money, right recruiting base, right alumni, right everything, but it was 2019 LSU that enjoyed the season Texas A&M should've had at some point over the last, oh, gajillion years.

The 52-24 loss to Alabama didn't help the movement, but there's a chance A&M can still be the team that slips in through the College Football Playoff back door by going 9-1.

If Alabama rips through its schedule - not a given with the way the D played against Ole Miss - goes 11-0 with an SEC Championship, and if A&M's only loss was totally forgivable on the road to the Tide ... boom.

But Texas A&M has to go against type and not be all Texas A&M.

At Mississippi State, Arkansas, at South Carolina, at Tennessee (that's the worry in all this), Ole Miss, LSU, at Auburn.

A&M might not be all that special, but it's got the coaching staff with its guys in place, it has the veteran quarterback in Kellen Mond, and it's got a good enough team to get through each step in this.

Of course it's not going to happen - LSU and Auburn should get better as the year goes on, and despite my efforts, it's Texas A&M - but there's no Georgia or Clemson on the schedule, and Florida and Bama are out of the way.

America's newest family-friendly fun-time ... Think, Know, Believe

I think the SEC is overrated and overloved this year.I know the SEC defenses are a disaster because the schools cranked up the offensive recruiting game.I believe everyone in the SEC but the champion will finish with two losses or more.

I think you can take everyone but Clemson and Notre Dame - and maybe North Carolina - in the ACC, put them in a bucket, pick one out and you might have the right winner in whatever matchup you want to create.

I know Syracuse - without Andre Cisco and Tommy DeVito - and Florida State probably belong in a different bucket.

I believe Notre Dame not playing NC State this year is going to turn out to be a big deal.

I think all undecided voters know exactly who they're voting for but don't want to admit it.

I know I need this election thing to happen already.

I believe I'm the only person who should be able to vote for anything.

I think the world will be okay ... eventually.

I know the Big 12 will be better ... eventually.

I believe Oklahoma is going to win yet another Big 12 title.

I think the college football season has pivoted over the last two weeks.

I know it's because the SEC is kicking in and the Big 12 games are interesting.

I believe this is going to be even more fun in two weeks when the Big Ten has its say.

I think Ole Miss should get all the love and affection Mississippi State received a few weeks ago.

I know there's more of that coming to an SEC showdown near you.

I believe I've never seen anything quite like it after Bama and Ole Miss traded punts late in the first quarter. The remaining drives the rest of the way between the two went touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown, field goal, touchdown, field goal, touchdown.