College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

College Football Cavalcade

College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

By

Five Cavalcade of Whimsy footballey opinions and, like, other stuff

1. “(Insert coach on team that’s playing bad here) can’t coach.”

Really, Twitter? Lincoln Riley decides to throw on third down in an attempt to effectively end the Red River Showdown, it doesn’t work, and he gets ripped to shreds for not being able to coach late in games?

Really, social media? The Vikings pitch a gem of a game against Seattle for 58 minutes, the running game is killing it, and the game is over with one first down deep in Seahawk territory. On 4th and short, Minnesota gets stuffed, and Mike Zimmer gets roasted for not kicking the field goal to go up 8? (I actually sort of agree with that.)

LSU defensive coordinator Bo Pelini is now a bad defensive coach. Todd Grantham doesn’t know what he’s doing after the Florida D struggled. Pete Golding is now a disaster after his Alabama defense got ripped to shreds.

At least on the defensive side, college teams didn’t hit as much as normal this offseason and it’s showing in game after game after game. When it comes to questionable decisions, sometimes they just don’t work.

Give it ten minutes and it’ll all change back.

No, Ed Orgeron isn’t a bad head coach now.

With all that in mind …

2. If I’ve learned anything …

DON’T LISTEN TO FOOTBALL COACHES ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN FOOTBALL.

Everyone got into a twist over Florida head coach Dan Mulen’s dopey comment about wanting a full stadium of 90,000 people during a global pandemic – as if his team was at a disadvantage in the loss to Texas A&M because a few fans were screamy – but remember, he’s … a … football coach.

Every football coach I’ve ever met is totally awesome in one-on-one settings when you’re talking about football. Ask them about anything else, and THUMP – the wall comes down instantly.

Football coaches love, want, and need football.

Football coaches barely know anything about any other aspect of the real world – triple that this time of year – and if they say they do, they’re forming their opinions after two straight months of fewer than four hours of sleep a night and likely hopped up on enormous levels of caffeine.

Then again, I’m trying to write all of this under the same conditions.

3. Where’s the Heisman talk?

Few college football norms have taken as big a hit in 2020 as the Heisman discussion.

There isn’t one.

There’s a robust fight in the NFL world about the MVP race just over a month into the season, but the Heisman? It might be brought up after a player has a big game, but it’s not even on the radar.

Maybe it’s because we know it’ll go to the best quarterback on the strongest team, and maybe it’s because no one has yet to capture America’s imagination with a massive performance on a big stage – like, if D’Eriq King had gone off and led Miami to a win over Clemson.

Maybe that comes this week if Mac Jones or Najee Harris do something big for Alabama against Georgia, and Trevor Lawrence might cement it later in the year if he’s brilliant against Notre Dame, but nope … the Heisman chatter isn’t there yet.

4. Opting out …

Why opt out on a fun college football season if you’re a top pro prospect?

Dak Prescott and Alex Smith.

Both of those injury stories on the same Sunday – one horrible and one amazing – showed just how fine a line there is in this sport.

Everyone gets hurt. Get paid for the rehab.

5. I know, I’m annoying about this, but …

I’m so lonely in my desperate begging for the AP and Coaches polls to be better.

They don’t matter in the grand scheme of anything anymore, but they do to the casual college football fan this time of year.

After last week, you can’t have Texas A&M behind Florida like both polls do.

Still unbeaten Louisiana stomped Iowa State 31-14 in Ames. The Ragin’ Cajuns are currently 21st in both polls, and the Cyclones are 20th.

North Carolina is the fifth-best team in college football and Oklahoma State is the seventh best, my ass.

College Football Playoff committee, start gearing up now. When you do that voodoo that you do so okay on November 24th, nail it.

NEXT: The sure-thing picks of the century for this week

More College Football News