College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

John David Mercer-USA TODAY Sports

College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

Cavalcade of Whimsy

College Football Cavalcade: Arkansas Auburn Debacle, The Team That Could Explode

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What I think, know and believe about the college football world, the Arkansas-Auburn debacle, and the one team that might be on the verge of exploding, all in the latest College Football Cavalcade.


Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

The officials blew the column dead instead of awarding it to Arkansas like they should have. Unlike Auburn, though, after catching the monster break it shanked the chance for the win.

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Check out all the past Cavalcades

The Team That Could Explode
I Think, I Know, I Believe
5 Footballey Opinions
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Because if Arkansas wins another big game, the world as you know it will cease to exist

To whiteboard this, Auburn was down 28-27 in the final seconds against Arkansas and in field goal range. With the clock winding down, Tiger QB Bo Nix fumbled the snap, picked it up, turned, and spiked the ball behind him to stop the clock.

Arkansas recovered what technically was a live ball after Nix fired it into the ground, and that should’ve been it. Hog win, 2-1, Gus Malzahn on a mega hot seat, and …

After a review, it was ruled intentional grounding on an incomplete pass, Auburn ball, field goal, ball game, let’s go take a steam.

And then this got even worse. Instead of simply saying the officials gagged, a blown whistle became the official party line.

Let’s just say Arkansas fans didn’t exactly take any part of this well as they vented on Twitter – and they were in the right.

However, I now get the joy of doing this after hearing it over and over and over and over again, particularly over the last six months.

To the grouchy fans on social media after that all happened …

STICK TO SPORTS.

Yes, there’s a segment of our society that now feels emboldened because, you know, everything, and when it comes to the silly-season rhetoric and buzzwords, no. Hard no.

There’s no “conspiracy” against Arkansas, and no, this wasn’t “rigged” – just like the world didn’t have it out for the program when the revised schedule came out.

Arkansas didn’t get deliberately “cheated” out of the win. It simply got totally hosed by a missed call.

And everybody knows it.

But they haven’t figured out my trick that if you pretend to be totally inept at a household chore, no one will want you to do it

When I first started doing radio appearances on sports shows over 20 years ago, a friend in the business gave me a great piece of advice that I continue to use.

Answer the question you wish you were asked.

It’s a debate tactic that also comes in handy when you’re on a show in Las Vegas and asked about the UNLV backup left guard situation.

I also use this in every day life, especially around the house, like …

Kid: “Dad, did you leave the toilet seat up?”

Me: “Of course I’ll get more Jell-O. Put it on the list.”

My trick was exposed and outed by the family six minutes into the vice presidential debate last week, but I’m not stopping now. To quote Freddie Bauer, when something works for me, I stick with it – and that especially goes for college football.

I will now pivot away from statements I may or may not have uttered or written over the course of the 2020 offseason. So go ahead and call me out, starting with “You said …”

LSU is simply going to reload like Ohio State, Alabama and Clemson do, and be a factor in the national championship chase again.

My pivot response: I’m a fan of Barry Odom’s – he caught a bad break – Eliah Drinkwitz was a great hire by Missouri. It’s going to be a rough year record-wise, but the program is going to be a thorn in everyone’s side.

“You said …” Mississippi State was about to be a thing and KJ Costello was front-and-center in the Heisman chase after the win over LSU.

My pivot response: Why yes, this is going to be a fun and crazy year in the SEC West – outside of whatever Alabama does – and Ole Miss is coming out red hot under Lane Kiffin. The six other non-Tide teams all look like they could beat each other up on any given day.

“You said …”Florida State had the talent in the starting 22 to be a sleeper in the ACC title chase.

My pivot response: I’ve been saying all off-season that NC State could be this year’s Louisville – a program that’s about to revert back to the norm. The Pack might not win the ACC title, but Dave Doeren has created a steady-good program that had one down year.

“You said …”Coastal Carolina was 72 out of 76 teams in the modified preseason rankings.

My pivot response: There aren’t enough bowl spots potentially available for Sun Belt teams. The conference went 3-0 against the Big 12, but the Big 12 is going to load up the bowls with its teams in a year when records don’t necessarily matter for the post-season exhibitions. The Sun Belt might not have the best records as the teams beat each other up, but there will be at least seven teams that deserve the spotlight.

“You said …”The Big Ten had almost no chance of coming back to play in the fall. 

My pivot response: Is it playing yet? No … I’m talking here … it’s Fiumala’s turn … is it playing yet? Has it been able to get through a season? No? You can’t answer the question … why can’t you answer the question? Is … the … Big Ten … playing yet? Okay then …

(Actual pivot response … Get here already, October 24th. I so need Big Ten football already.)

“You said … “Before the season, Texas was a top ten team and should be deep in the mix for the College Football Playoff.

My pivot response: You know, we’re sitting here focusing on a Texas team that can’t tackle, continues to underachieve, and is lucky to not be 0-3 in the Big 12 when we could be focusing on issues that matter to American families at their kitchen table, like this ….

The Team That Could Explode
I Think, I Know, I Believe
5 Footballey Opinions
Sure-Thing Picks of the Century

NEXT: The team that might not be on the verge of blowing up

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