Cavalcade of Whimsy: Best GameDay Ever, We Got Through Week 1

Greg Bartram-USA TODAY Sports

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Best GameDay Ever, We Got Through Week 1

College Football Cavalcade

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Best GameDay Ever, We Got Through Week 1

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Five Cavalcade of Whimsy footballey opinions and, like, other stuff

1. It’s too bad it didn’t cover up more of the BYU-Navy game.

I’ll take Giantass Things for $600, Alex.

A: The Pyramids of Giza, the Great Wall of China, and ESPN college football’s massive score and time chyron/graphic on the top of the ticker.

Q: What are three man-made things viewable from space?

The designer people for ESPN college football games obviously have the ultra-zoom, 1000-point font size setting on their phones and use the flashlight function on restaurant menus.

Depending on the camera angle, the graphic wipes out the bottom part of the field from the hashmarks down.

That’s why pencils have erasers, ESPN. The scoreboard should be something you actively look for on the screen and not distracting from the action.

What’s not too big, though, is SMU’s Club Take Away, easily the best rip-off of the turnover chain gimmick (you can see the scoreboard problem at the bottom, and it usually has the ticker, too) …

2. Pining for Penei and Fold for Fields don’t sound as strong.

How Jacksonville would it be to give away several of the key players and still not get Trevor Lawrence in the 2021 NFL Draft?

Lawrence would’ve been the No. 1 overall pick in either of the last two drafts had he been eligible, and he’s a mortal lock to be a top five overall selection and probably the top guy if he comes out next year. And that’s the big key – if.

He’d be crazy not to leave early to go make his 100-million-plus career dollars, but considering his social activism, his love of the college life, and with his demeanor, it’s not insane to think that he might pull an Andrew Luck and come back for his senior year.

3. Oh they do deserve to have a little fun

To the asked-all-the-time question of who the best fans in college football are, I have a new submission.

The fans who showed up for the UTEP-Stephen F. Austin game.

Consider what it took to go see that thing.

While social distancing didn’t appear to be a problem, and everyone was outside, they’re still taking a chance simply by going out in a gathering of any size.

So to be a UTEP football fan on Saturday, there was some sort of a risk to see a team that went 2-34 going back to 2016. They got their payoff with a 24-14 Miner win.

4. I love being on Twitter. It’s so great to find that one special outlet that will annoy you for the rest of your life.

Hey, did you know UTEP has more wins than the Big Ten and Pac-12 will have this season … COMBINED?!

If you’re not on Twitter, you’re missing out on just that sort of high-brow comedy.

If you missed this Algonquin Round Table banter on social media, let me describe what’s happening after just about every college football win.

A slew of people trying to become the sports version of Rita Rudner will point out that a school that’s not very good at playing college football – like UTEP – now has more wins than a few big conferences who aren’t going to play a game in the 2020 fall season. So, of course, those big-time leagues can’t win any games because they’re not playing, and UTEP has a victory.

And oh how we laugh … and laugh … and laugh.

Speaking of Twitter …

5. You do know we can see you, right?

I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but there appear to be people out there threatening to not watch a sporting event if a few players kneel or show any sort of support for a social cause.

It’s okay. I don’t think this means the end of college football quite yet – or the sports media industry as we know it – but be on alert.

Going forward, you’ve been warned: DO NOT SHOW ANY SOCIAL AWARENESS OR HUMANITY, or someone might actually feel compelled to use social media to let you know their nuanced-like-a-falling-piano opinion.

NEXT: The sure-thing picks of the century for this week

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