Cavalcade of Whimsy: Coaches Getting Fired, Alabama Historic Loss, Greg Schiano

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Coaches Getting Fired, Alabama Historic Loss, Greg Schiano

College Football Cavalcade

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Coaches Getting Fired, Alabama Historic Loss, Greg Schiano

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This week’s “USE A CUCK-TAYEL STICK” submission …

HANDS …

Which leads me to …

Five Cavalcade of Whimsy footballey opinions and, like, other stuff

5. UConn

Ahhhhhh, the UConn era in the American Athletic Conference. There was the … um … uhhhh. the 16-10 loss to Marshall in your 2015 St. Petersburg Bowl, and there was the … um … uhhhh …

How’s this for an run?

In seven seasons after coming in from the scuttled Big East, UConn went a fantastic 20-65 with only one season with more than three wins, just two wins over teams that finished with winning records, and with just 14 wins over FBS programs.

And now, it’s worth it to UConn – after all it brought to the “Power 6” conference – to drop $17 million to bolt.

Well played.

There was one other big win …

4. Tom Herman

Just imagine if Texas was rolling along and lost to … Kansas.

As miserable as UConn was as an American Athletic Conference program, it did come up with an all-timer of an aberration.

Tom Herman’s 2015 Houston team wasn’t loved all that much by the College Football Playoff – ranked 19th in mid-November despite a 10-0 start. It wasn’t going to have any real claim to a top four spot, but it was beating up everyone until it faced …

UConn.

20-17 Huskies.

Houston went on to give Navy one of its two losses, beat Temple for the AAC title, got the Group of Five bid into the New Year’s Six, and took out Florida State in the Peach Bowl.

Speaking of old Big East programs …

3. The Greg Schiano hiring

Fine, whatever, but there’s one teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy, little piece missing from the narrative of all the success Schiano had at Rutgers …

THEY DIDN’T BEAT ANYONE WHO WAS ANY GOOD AT COLLEGE FOOTBALL.

And while I’m all screamy ..

IT’S NOT THE 2000s AND RUTGERS ISN’T IN THE BIG EAST ANYMORE.

Yeah, Schiano had a terrific run with five bowl wins and six winning seasons in his last seven years, but were those Rutgers teams in the same division/league as Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State and Michigan State? Nooooo.

Totally blown off in the rehiring is that for all the wins under Schiano, his Rutgers teams had one really, really good win over QB Brian Brohm – brother of Jeff – and a loaded Louisville team that finished 12-1 in 2006.

And that was about it.

There was a whole lot of bum-slaying going on after some of the Big East’s better programs – Miami, Boston College and Virginia Tech – bolted.

Yeah, he’ll make the program more competitive, and yeah – controversy and all – Rutgers essentially just hired the Tennessee head football coach.

But the situation has changed a little bit.

2. BYU

In the end, BYU wins because it gets to go to Hawaii for its bowl game instead of Las Vegas – if everything had worked out okay – but wouldn’t it be more fun if the program was in the Mountain West?

It’s a tired discussion around the Cougar program, but BYU beat Boise State and Utah State this year, and it lost after getting dragged down into the San Diego State world of games with no scoring.

This year, BYU would’ve been good enough to be deep in the hunt for the MWC title – and possibly win it. Instead, it’s only realistic goal was to get bowl eligible. Yippee.

1. The Elijah Moore thing

Hit the kick.

To everyone on social media last Thursday night, and to all the Get Off My Lawn columns cranked out in the aftermath of the Egg Bowl, please … it’s called a long, hot bubble bath. Look into it.

The reaction after the Elijah Moore peeing dog thing made him out to be everything that’s wrong with sports, society, the culture of football, the downfall of civilization, and, of course, kids these days.

Did he injure anyone? No. Did he do something silly that he really, really shouldn’t have done in those circumstances? Of course. But …

Hit the kick.

In the end, it all comes down to this – and this includes the Billie Eilish/Van Halen thing, too – old, farty people really don’t like it when young people have fun.

Moore’s thing crossed a line – mainly because he was going to get flagged for it – but there’s are reason the NCAA has dropped such a hammer on expressions of joy after a score.

It’s fun.

I don’t like end zone celebrations in the NFL, and I certainly don’t want them in college football, mainly because I think they’re sort of weak. But who cares?

Moore was jacked up after a massive touchdown catch and he obviously wasn’t thinking, but …

Hit the kick.

NEXT: The sure-thing picks of the century for this week

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