Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Greatest College Football Quarterback Show Ever

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Greatest College Football Quarterback Show Ever


Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Greatest College Football Quarterback Show Ever


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The greatest college football quarterbacking show of all-time, Notre Dame’s year to be in the ACC, and Clemson’s close call, in the latest Cavalcade of Whimsy.

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Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

Even though I wrote it, picked the topics, came up with the plan, and put this thing on the field, it’s the “fat, dumb, happy and entitled” blurbs’ fault – because, of course, it can’t be on me – that the column is “very soft.”


And we’re only one month in …

In honor of the 150th anniversary season of the first college football game ever played, the sport is giving its fans the ultimate present. 

Everyone, you just witnessed the most amazing first month of college football quarterbacking ever played.

I know, hyperbolize much? Yeah, all the time, but really, the game has never, ever seen anything like this.

Tua Tagovailoa, Justin Herbert, Justin Fields, Jake Fromm – be shocked if they’re not all top 15 overall NFL Draft picks, and maybe even top five.

Take those four, and let’s add in a few relatively random-good veterans who got off to hot starts: Iowa’s Nate Stanley, Baylor’s Charlie Brewer, and Utah’s Tyler Huntley.

Over the first month of the season, these seven passers combined to connect on 73% of their throws, average 9.5 yards per attempt – to put this into perspective, just four quarterbacks finished last year averaged more than that – with 84 touchdown passes, and … (wait for it) …

No interceptions.

822 pass attempts. 84 touchdowns. No picks. That’ll work, but it seems like a few others might be missing …

Jalen Hurts sucks now, of course, after finally throwing his first and only interception of the year. He can be forgiven just this one time considering he’s averaging a mere 15.2 yards per throw with 12 touchdown passes so far.

LSU’s Joe Burrow is somehow still the starter despite throwing two interceptions. The Tigers were able to overcome the issues because its quarterback also threw 17 touchdown passes while averaging 12.3 yards per throw.

And this can go on and on and on …

Remember how were all worried about Miami starting freshman Jarren Williams? Yeah … 73% for 1,027 yards and seven touchdowns with no picks.

Sam Ehlinger of Texas? He’s connecting on 73% of his passes, and averaging 8.8 yards per throw, with 15 touchdowns and a just one interception.

Washington’s Jacob Eason? 71% for 1,243 yards and ten scores with just two interceptions.

Washington State’s Anthony Gordon? He has fat, dumb, happy and entitled his way to 22 touchdown passes with six picks while completing 72% of his throws.

Oh yeah … and then there’s the No. 1 overall pick in the 2021 NFL Draft

Trevor Lawrence is still great – even if he is only connecting on 62% of his throws so far with eight touchdown passes and five interceptions.

And to continue with the theme …

This blurb reaches more than trying to make Danny Dimes a thing …

Player A through 4 games: 69-101 (68%) for 821 yards (8.1 yards per throw) with eight touchdowns and two interceptions. 

Player B through 4 game: 86-118 (73%) for 842 yards (7.1 yards per throw) with ten touchdowns and two interceptions.

Player A? Daniel Jones at Duke last year through the first four games he played in – he missed two early on.

Player B? Duke’s Quentin Harris, who’s having a better early run than Jones enjoyed in 2018 despite facing Alabama in the opener.

For the most part, the replacements for the top NFL rookie quarterbacks are not only doing fine, they’re doing better. To continue with a more obvious one …

Player D through 4 games: 76-101 (75%) for 1,046 yards (10.4 yards per throw) with 13 TD passes and no interceptions.

Player E through 4 games: 60-88 (68%) for 1,028 yards (11.7 yards per throw) with 11 TD passes and two picks.

Player F through 4 games: 66-85 (78%) for 1,295 yards (15.2 yards per throw) with 12 touchdown passes and one interception.

Player D: Baker Mayfield to start out 2017, but to be fair, he went on the road and rocked Ohio State. Player E, is Kyler Murray over the first four games of last year, and Player F, of course, is Jalen Hurts.

And you see what’s coming next.

Player G through 5 games: 109-154 (71%) for 1,464 yards (9.76 yards per throw) with 19 touchdown passes and two interceptions.

Player H through 4 games: 81-116 (70%) for 1,092 yards (9.4 yards per throw) with 16 TD passes and no picks.

Okay, Player G Dwayne Haskins had a better first five games throwing the ball than Player H Justin Fields has had so far, but Fields ran for 222 yards and seven scores. Haskins had 36 rushing yards and one TD at this point.

And to belabor the theme with one more of these …

Player I through 54 games: 185-273 (68%) for 1,992 yards (7.3 yards per attempt) with 14 TDs and three interceptions.

Player J through 5 games: 167-232 (72%) for 2,146 yards (9.3 yards per throw) with 22 TDs and six picks.

But Player I – Gardner Minshew – rocks the jorts better than Player J, Washington State’s Anthony Gordon.

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