This week’s reason I should be the SEVENTH prognosticator on the set of the new FOX College Football Pregame thingy …

If it were up to me, I’d pick a Kent State field hockey game over fireworks. Okay, I lied. I like fireworks more than field hockey, but not if they’re being shot off in the daytime – the fireworks, not the field hockey. So yeah … I was right the first time. I’d rather see what happens in the second overtime in the field hockey thing. I’d actually rather see field hockey with fireworks going off, and …

The sure-thing, 100%, rock-solid lock, sell the house, sell the kids, no doubt about it picks of the century for this week

PICK SO FAR: 8-4 SU, 7-5 ATS

I have failed you. I have let you down, as I steer you down the wrong path.

Maybe once in a while there’s a misfire on a pick against the spread … maybe. But getting three straight up picks wrong last week (Texas A&M, Tennessee and Stanford) is unacceptable.

Fortunately, these picks are all correct.

– Maryland -7 over Temple
– Colorado -3 over Air Force
– Iowa -2 over Iowa State
– Syracuse +27.5 over Clemson (but Clemson to win outright)
– Colorado State +10 over Arkansas (but Arkansas straight up)

C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …

The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world

5) Overrated: Alabama bitching about having to play Southern Miss next week at 11 am

Underrated: Alabama bitching about, you know, BEING IN ALABAMA WHERE IT’S REALLY FREAKING HOT.

4) Overrated: Yeah, the kid should actually be getting paid for the money the school is generating off of his design, but still, the hearts are in the right place, so …

Underrated: Just … just …this …

3) Overrated: Every preseason fantasy cheat sheet’s way-low ranking of Tom Brady

Underrated: Oh COME ON … how the hell does it magically happen 30 seconds after being released by the Raiders?!

2) Overrated: USC athletic director Lynn Swann

Underrated: The USC athletic director who Urban Meyer wants

1) Overrated: Entering the transfer portal the second you don’t win the starting quarterback job, or else you, too could be …

Underrated: Kedon Slovis. We’re two weeks in and we have a brand new college football star.

Sorry if this column sucked, I wasn’t my fault …

The Minister of Culture didn’t bring the Minister of Tackling LSU Receivers …