The Group of Five is undermined by just about everybody in college football – including by its own ill-chosen moniker.
In 2014, the five richest college football conferences hijacked the NCAA and ditched the BCS “automatic qualifier” system for a college football playoff system governed by a powerful playoff committee. After unceremoniously dissolving the weakest Auto Qualifier (the Big East), the remaining wealthiest conferences dubbed themselves The Power Five and consolidated the bulk of college football’s riches for themselves.
The other five conferences were lazily dubbed The Group of Five.
The Group. We’re a group. (“I am Group.”) You know who’s a group? These guys:
This was a pivotal moment, guys. We could have chosen to truly shape and promote our brand, and without much effort. We could have been the Gang of Five or The Fantastic Five or The Five Bad Asses, but instead we were like, “Eh, group is good.”
Meanwhile, like an obnoxious rich-kid whose parents named him “Zeus,” the Power Five is strutting around the nation, condescendingly offering 2-1 games while maintaining its boring grip on the national playoff conversation. Power Five? More like Entitled Five. Who picked this name? Kirk Herbstreit?
We have to lose “Group of Five.” It’s not just bad branding. It’s bland branding. Blanding. We might as well just start calling ourselves “The Coy and Vance Duke of College Football Conferences.”
We need a new name. What we don’t need an expensive consultancy agency. Like everything else, we can do this on a slim budget. I’ve already rolled the ball with a bit of crowd sourcing:
I’m actually all in for The FU Five, but perhaps we should focus group it first.
A former notary public, Jeremy Harper is a professional writer and Chief Instigator for Storm the Castle Creative. He spends much of his free time staring blankly into space.