Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Great Jalen Hurts, Crazy Coaching Hires, Dumb CFP Debate

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Great Jalen Hurts, Crazy Coaching Hires, Dumb CFP Debate

Cavalcade of Whimsy

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Great Jalen Hurts, Crazy Coaching Hires, Dumb CFP Debate


The crazy coaching hires, dumb College Football Playoff debate, and the great Jalen Hurts … in the Cavalcade of Whimsy.


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Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

It’s one of the four best college football columns, but it’s getting punished because it lost to Alabama, while others got to take the week off against Northwestern, Pitt or Memphis.

Save us, Kirk Herbstreit. You’re our only hope.

This just sucks.

It’s stupid, it’s pointless, and it has to stop.

We have to change up the way college football does its playoff thing, because the College Football Playoff has turned into one of the biggest unforced errors in sports.

And it’s not because the thing isn’t good. On the contrary, it’s the best postseason in terms of a sports’ representative greatness by a mile. March Madness might be the best tournament in the history of competitive things, but that’s a gimmick – there’s no such thing as a cheap or fluky team getting into the CFP.

There was no wrong answer for the third or fourth spots this year, and the committee actually did get it as close to the pin as possible. And yet it’s still not kosher because we’re missing two teams that somehow should be in, and yet shouldn’t be in, and a third team in UCF that absolutely shouldn’t be in, but should sort of have a shot to be in, and …

AAAAACKKKKKK! You’ve broken me college football.

Even worse, my soul was crushed by the sports media doorknobs who don’t have the first clue at how the College Football Playoff process actually works, spewing out pretzel logic opinions that made the laurel and yanny debate sound like a topic for the Algonquin Round Table between the salads and finger sandwiches.

“Georgia shouldn’t be in because it lost two games and it was settled on the field.”

Yeah, it was settled on the field that Georgia almost beat the be-all-end-all, possible-greatest-Nick-Saban-team-ever-which-makes-it-possibly-the-greatest-college-football-team-ever Crimson Tide.

And now America is under attack by a slew of hot takers – BTW, balloon bouquets and baskets of mini-muffins to Kirk Herbstreit, considering his role in the world, for his sincere and passionately dead-on correct four-best-team analysis in the heat of the debate – starting sentences with, “Georgia is one of the four best teams, but …”

STOP RIGHT THERE. That’s it. Georgia is one of the four best teams. Done. Over. Let’s go take a steam.

I’m the Respect the Results and “you can’t win the national championship if you can’t win your conference” guy, but as we’ve seen over the previous two tournaments – especially with the “… because it’s Alabama” ruling of 2017 – that’s not how the College Football Playoff committee rolls.

But you can’t leave out Notre Dame or Oklahoma.

The problem isn’t that Georgia, Ohio State and UCF aren’t in. It’s that they should be in and can’t be, because the Fighting Irish and Sooners have to be there along with Alabama and Clemson.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There’s no nobility or cachet to having a system that has such a gaping theoretical flaw, and guidelines that are purposefully way too loose.

For example – all apologies for using this several times – but if Wisconsin gets a touchdown on Ohio State in the final moments in last year’s Big Ten Championship, then Alabama is out, and as it turns out, the best team in college football wouldn’t have been in.

And this year, if Georgia takes Alabama to overtime, it’s probably in, Oklahoma is out, and that wouldn’t feel right, either.

It’s just so, so, so, SO simple – and it has to be said over and over and over again so we stay on message.

Eight teams, starting next week before the bowls kick off.

All five Power Five champions, the top-ranked Group of Five champion, and two wild cards just in case there’s a Georgia, a Notre Dame, or some other outlier. The games are played on the home fields of the higher seeds, and then the lowest seed remaining plays the highest seed remaining in the current CFP format.

Then, college football would absolutely get it right. There’s be no arguing for any team that can’t meet the criteria, and our long national nightmare will be over.

NEXT: And the payoffs to get rid of them all is going to be large

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