Cavalcade of Whimsy: Okay, Notre Dame. Welcome To The College Football Playoff.

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Okay, Notre Dame. Welcome To The College Football Playoff.

Cavalcade of Whimsy

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Okay, Notre Dame. Welcome To The College Football Playoff.

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The sure-thing, 100%, rock-solid lock, sell the house, sell the kids, no doubt about it picks of the century for this week

PICK SO FAR: 68-19 SU, 53-35 ATS

I know, I know … I totally whiffed on some of the other ones in a 4-3 week, but please, PLEASE tell me you listened and you ended up parlaying my Never Trust Any Team Giving Up More Than 40 belief system.

It’s my hard and fast rule to never give more than 40 points to anyone no matter what, and it sort of applies around the 37ish mark, too.

Last week … UMass +44 over Georgia (66-27 Dawgs), Rice +44 over LSU (42-10 Tigers) and the layup, The Citadel +51 over Alabama (which became +53.5 by game time, and 50-17 Tide).

But you didn’t go with the three teamer, did you? Okay …

Fortunately, these picks are all correct.

– Kentucky -17 over Louisville
– Wisconsin -10 over Minnesota
– Oklahoma State -5 over TCU
– Florida -5.5 over Florida State

Oh, screw this. These aren’t my best calls of the week, but they’re the big ones you care about, so let’s go …

– West Virginia -1.5 over Oklahoma
– Washington +3 over Washington State
– Michigan -4 over Ohio State
– Notre Dame -10.5 over USC
– Alabama -24.5 over Auburn

This week’s reason I’m being “punished” by being put on “paid administrative leave” …

Like everyone with a beating heart, I fall for the raw emotion of the reunited military family moments every time.

Apples to oranges, I know I’m supposed to dig the whole putting a kid on scholarship manipulated emotion reveal thing, too – and I do – but 1) it further shows just how silly and crazy the line is between possibly life-crippling debt, and not having to pay for school because you’re a backup long snapper, and …

2) If you’re in that room, and you’re a walk-on who’s still paying for school, and this isn’t you, yeah, you’re happy, but it also really, really, really sucks that you didn’t win the lottery.

C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …

The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world

5) Overrated: The Big 12 “reprimand” for this …

Underrated: “OU still sucks.”

4) Overrated: The color commentators on the Monday Night Football crew getting the honor of calling arguably the greatest NFL regular season game of all-time.

Underrated: Maryland RB Anthony McFarland vs. Ohio State

3) Overrated: The greater Chicagoland area – only the third-largest TV market in the country – being treated to the Magnificent Mile Lights Festival that cut into a bulk of the first quarter of the Cincinnati-UCF game.

Underrated: Whining about that – raised hand – and then paying more attention to three other games while Cincinnati-UCF was on.

2) Overrated: The American Athletic Conference now saying it wouldn’t mind opening up the discussion for an expanded playoff.

Underrated: No (bleep).

1) Overrated: DJ Durkin reportedly helping on game plans when he was on administrative leave.

Underrated: 535 yards of total offense against Ohio State including 339 on the ground in the 52-51 overtime loss.

Sorry if this column sucked, I wasn’t my fault …

I’m sorry. After a horrible, disappointing season of columns, I was about to do something amazing and shake up the college football world with this one. I barely – BARELY – went out of bounds, but …

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