Cavalcade of Whimsy: Okay, Notre Dame. Welcome To The College Football Playoff.

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Okay, Notre Dame. Welcome To The College Football Playoff.

Cavalcade of Whimsy

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Okay, Notre Dame. Welcome To The College Football Playoff.


Notre Dame in the College Football Playoff, a historic rushing season, a team that needs more love, and the big things to take away from Week 12 … in the Cavalcade of Whimsy.


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Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

1) For using the word sucks, the Big 12 reprimanded the column (explained further later on): “This is the second violation of the conference sportsmanship rules and, therefore, it is receiving a public reprimand and will be expected to issue a public apology for its inappropriate comments.”

Speaking of which …

2) The column? “These people don’t give a (bleep).”

“The horror … the horror” …

I’m good now.

I’ve believed all season long that Ohio State was going to magically wake up and start playing up to its talent level. It could still beat Michigan, and then it could still destroy Northwestern. But ….

I’m good. I’ve seen enough. I don’t need Ohio State in my College Football Playoff.

I love this Washington State team.

I love how it went from dealing with the nightmare of the Tyler Hilinski tragedy to go forward and become one of the best and most fun stories this season. But the Pac-12 is bad at football this year, there’s nothing to like in the non-conference slate, and the loss to USC stinks. Even though it would be amazing to see what Gardner Minshew and this offense could do …

I’m good. I want it, but I don’t need Washington State in my College Football Playoff.

I really, really want to see Kyler Murray and the Oklahoma offense get their at-bats against Alabama or Clemson.

Maybe it’s because last season’s Rose Bowl was so great, and maybe it’s because Kyler vs. Tua would be epic. The fan in me wants this O to get in. But …

I’m good. This offense might put up 50 on anyone, but the defense would probably give up 55. I don’t need Oklahoma in my College Football Playoff.

I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying reeeeeeal harrrrrrrd to buy into the UCF argument, but …

I’m good. Yeah, UCF could do damage in the tournament, but that’s not the point. It’s not fair to give it a big plate when it’s sitting at the kid’s table. I don’t need UCF in my College Football Playoff.

Georgia should be in the CFP because it’s one of the three best teams in college football.

Even if it loses to Alabama in the SEC Championship – and assuming it survives Georgia Tech – I’m all in that it’s the one other team outside of the Tide and Tigers that could win the whole darn thing. That’s why this hurts. I really, really, really don’t like it, but …

I’m good. And why? LSU 36, Georgia 16. Even so, I … I … I can’t bring myself to say it, because I don’t believe it, but … (deep breath) I guess I don’t need Georgia in my College Football Playoff.

Which leaves two options, and if I’m good with Michigan right now being in my College Football Playoff – assuming it’s going to do what we all think it’s about to do in Columbus – then I have to bite the bullet.

America is still bearing the scars of the Alabama 42-14 win in the 2013 BCS Championship – no hyperbole, by far the easiest ATS pick I’ve ever made in over 20 years of doing this – and we all know how this movie is going to end.

Of course Alabama will eventually destroy this Fighting Irish team by a bazillion, but …

Fiiiiiiiiiiine. Yuck.

I’m good. I guess I need Notre Dame in my College Football Play ….

NO! I CAN’T DO IT. It’s like knowing someone is about get into a car crash, double up on the 4 for $4 at Wendy’s – I seriously have to invest in a salad – or go see A Star Is Born, and not being able to do anything to stop it.

Help us, USC. You’re our only hope.

NEXT: One plate of pretentious College Football Playoff ranking issue coming right up …

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