Cavalcade of Whimsy: Kyler Murray's Heisman, Alabama Is In & It'll All Work Out

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Kyler Murray's Heisman, Alabama Is In & It'll All Work Out

College Football Cavalcade

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Kyler Murray's Heisman, Alabama Is In & It'll All Work Out


The sure-thing, 100%, rock-solid lock, sell the house, sell the kids, no doubt about it picks of the century for this week

PICK SO FAR: 64-16 SU, 49-32 ATS

II know, 60% against the spread, but what have I done for you lately?

Fortunately, these picks are all correct …

– SMU +8.5 over Memphis
– UMass +44 over Georgia (Georgia straight up. Like last week taking Rutgers +48.5 over Michigan, this is a principle pick. If someone gives you 44 points for anything, you take them.)
– Syracuse +9 over Notre Dame
– Baylor -2 over TCU
– Rice +44 over LSU (LSU straight up. Okay, so my principles are being tested here. I actually don’t think Rice will stay within 44, but a man without his belief system is a Danish.)
– Nebraska +2 over Michigan State

And, to stay with the Tao of Fiu …

– Citadel +51 over Alabama (Alabama straight up … I guess)

This week’s reason I’m being “punished” by being put on “paid administrative leave” …

In this week’s version of I’m A Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY bad guy (fully aware that there’s some angle I couldn’t find or figure out that will eventually make me frightfully apologetic) …

In the attempt to set the world record for most pull-ups in a minute, if one guy doesn’t have a leg, and therefore doesn’t have to lift an extra 25 or so pounds with each pull-up, isn’t that sort of like one golfer hitting from the whites while the others are teeing up from the blues?

C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …

The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world

5) Overrated: Both Midnight Marauders and Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), at least compared to …

Underrated: The Low End Theory

4) Overrated: (But not his Twitter feed after this … )

Underrated: This …

3) Overrated: All the ads for wireless carriers and providers – including the one that didn’t edit out the shot of the wife’s boob falling out of the side of her shirt during the reuniting hug – offering military members and their families discounts to buy and use their products, while also using shots of reunited military family members in an attempt to get you to like and buy their products, instead of …

Underrated: Thanking them for their service by giving military members and their families their cell service for free.

2) Overrated: Loyola’s run to the Final Four

Underrated: Northwestern football going 13-1 vs. the Big Ten going back to early October of last year.

1) Overrated: Ridiculous and embarrassingly selfish me being grouchy for the tiniest of milliseconds because I had to find words other than shootout or firefight when describing a Pac-12 game involving teams from California.

Underrated: Real, honest and true thoughts, prayers, and everything else possible right now to all those fighting and dealing with the nightmare in Northern California.

Sorry if this column sucked, I wasn’t my fault …

If you didn’t like the column, yeah, what he said …


More College Football News