Cavalcade of Whimsy: Kyler Murray's Heisman, Alabama Is In & It'll All Work Out

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Kyler Murray's Heisman, Alabama Is In & It'll All Work Out

College Football Cavalcade

Cavalcade of Whimsy: Kyler Murray's Heisman, Alabama Is In & It'll All Work Out

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Five Cavalcade of Whimsy footballey opinions and, like, other stuff

5. Keep in mind that Michigan and Clemson are 1-2, respectively, in total D, Bama is 8th and Georgia is 12th

Here’s one of the nice parts about college football – there’s a little something for everyone. And if you like defense, there are plenty of places you can find it on a given Saturday.

But for the rest of us, when it comes to appointment viewing over the next two weeks, possibly three, I give you two words.

West Virginia.

The Mountaineers have cranked up 500 yards or more of total offense in four of the last five games and average 496 per game on the season.

That’s so cute.

Oklahoma State averages 512 yards per game. The Cowboys are up next for the Mountaineers, and after that, Oklahoma. The Sooners are No. 1 in the nation in total offense averaging 577 yards per game.

If you took the two games and combined them, would a point total of around 175.5 be way too low?

Last year, West Virginia lost to Oklahoma 59-31 and lost to Oklahoma State 50-39 – 179 points.

4. It’s the Bobby Bowden line. “There’s only about six inches that turns that halo into a noose.”

Bobby Petrino is out at Louisville because his team is 2-8 this season. His teams were fun with Lamar Jackson at the helm, and there’s no question that this season was an aberration, but buying him out for $14 million apparently was no big deal for the school.

Now the Jeff Brohm watch is on.

Yes, the Jeff Brohm who turned Purdue into a winner, and yes, the Jeff Brohm whose team destroyed Ohio State with the whole world watching. However …

It’s the Jeff Brohm whose Boilermakers just got treated like they asked for a nice mead from a bad Minnesota team in 41-10 loss, and it’s the Jeff Brohm who needs to beat either Wisconsin or win at Indiana to avoid a horrible collapse and miss out on a bowl.

Now, Louisville is in a weird spot. It wants its guy, but it would actually be a positive for the school if Brohm and Purdue faceplanted over the next two games.

Louisville’s not a big enough gig for Brohm, and all the things the school worried about when it came to Petrino possibly bolting are actually true for Brohm. At the moment, 5-7 Jeff Brohm is more attainable for Louisville, and at a slightly cheaper cost.

7-5, bowl-bound Jeff Brohm might be on the short list for USC.

3. Yeah, that halo/noose thing again … 

You’ve been dating someone for almost four years. You’ve stuck it out, you like her, and she’s a good person, but she isn’t really for you. It just isn’t working despite all of the best efforts on both sides, so you tell her that you want to break up, and it’s all cool.

However, there are a few functions that both of you are invited to, so you choose to wait until they’re over before she has to move out of your place.

And then she wins the lottery.

Speaking of quadrillion-to-1 odds …

What happens if Kansas wins at Oklahoma this week and then closes out the season by shocking Texas?

Of course it won’t happen, but it would be an amazing, unprecedented turn if lame duck head coach David Beaty ended up pulling off the miracle to finish 5-7 with wins over the Sooners, Longhorns and TCU in the final five games.

He keeps the gig if he does, right?

2. THESE are alternative facts … 

Or, the working definition of “truth isn’t truth.”

To set the scene, Boise State was up 24-17 on Fresno State and trying to run out the clock. Stuffed on third down, the chains came out for a measurement – a first down would mean the ball game.

Fresno State really didn’t have much of a chance. The Broncos would’ve kicked it, and at best, there would’ve been a blocked punt, or the Bulldogs would’ve had the ball with about 20 seconds to play and in need of a something wacky. Even so, the Bulldogs needed it to be fourth down, but …

The Mountain West’s official explanation …

“The available views display various perspectives of the ball position both vertically and horizontally in relation to the first down pole.  While certain camera angles make it appear the ball was short of a first down, there are no perspectives which are directly perpendicular to the line to gain and therefore no conclusive evidence that the line to gain was not in fact reached.  It has been confirmed the spot, instant replay review and measurement processes were all executed correctly.”

“Therefore, the judgment of the referee, who was looking directly down on the ball and the pole, and was supported by the umpire and back judge, prevails.”

1) My 20-year quixotic journey continues. IT’S 2018 … PUT CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. It’s called a GoPro – I’m guessing they’d be happy to sponsor/help.

2) Chains? REALLY?! IT’S 2018.

3) Totally fine. And I get the explanation because the TV shot is angled, however, if we’re not supposed to believe the TV cameras, then how are we ever supposed to believe instant replay?

What Fresno v. Boise now becomes is the precedent for any team – especially in the Mountain West – for questioning any and every instant replay call.

1. Oh, go, you Northwestern

Had Northwestern lost to Iowa, it would’ve been possible for it to finish 5-7 and still win the Big Ten West.

But, of course, Bennett Skowronek did his best Gregg Garrity 1983 Sugar Bowl impersonation – which I remember as a lot more amazing than it really was – and the Wildcats are off to the Big Ten Championship.

And that’s a good thing for college football.

Oh sure, in in a perfect world, we conference-swap Northwestern with the ACC Coastal champ, and the Big Ten East champ goes off to play Clemson.

And yeah, Northwestern getting into the Big Ten title game is sort of like when a mediocre basketball team gets hot in the NCAA Tournament. It means there’s a whole plate of bad waiting to be served up at some point. If not in Indy, then possibly in Pasadena.

And no, America doesn’t need to see a repeat of the late September 20-17 Michigan uggo over the Wildcats in Evanston.

Whatever.

Yay for new blood in the championship games.

Yay that it’ll be Pitt or Virginia in the ACC title game. Yay for the possibility of UAB vs. Middle Tennessee or FIU in the Conference USA Championship.

Yay for the possibility of Utah vs. Washington State in the Pac-12 title game. Yay for Iowa State and West Virginia for still being alive in the Big 12.

And yay for you, Northwestern.

NEXT: The sure-thing picks of the century for this week

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