The sure-thing, 100%, rock-solid lock, sell the house, sell the kids, no doubt about it picks of the century for this week
PICK SO FAR: 22-6 SU, 17-11 ATS
ARE YOU (bleep)ING SERIOUS? 7-2 against the spread, and almost all of them wins were of the no-drama easy kind.
What did you do to deserve me, America?
Fortunately, these picks are all correct …
– Clemson -22 over Syracuse
– Virginia Tech +5 over Duke
– Ohio -13 over UMass
– Nevada +6.5 over Air Force
– Ohio State -3.5 over Penn State
– Florida +7.5 over Mississippi State
– Michigan -14 over Northwestern
– Louisiana +49 over Alabama (Bama straight up … even if it’s wrong, never, ever, ever, ever, ever give up 40 points to anyone)
This week’s reason I’m being “punished” by being put on “paid administrative leave” …
Yes … I was watching the end of the afternoon games on my phone instead of basking in the life moment of my daughter taking pictures with all the other 14-year-old-girls-who-look-25-and-need-to-put-on-a-sweater and their have-absolutely-NO-clue-how-Savannah-State-vs.-Alabama-out-of-their-league-they-are dates before their homecoming – the unfortunately-titled, HoCo – dance.
I’m off the hook, though. My kid’s date spent the whole time refreshing his phone over and over and over to keep up with Michigan State vs. Indiana. I’m signing my will over to him.
C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …
The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world
5) Overrated: #Pac12AfterDark
Underrated: The someday dream of #Pac12at11amCentral to trend
4) Overrated: Florida State scoring 31 to beat Northern Illinois in the 2013 Orange Bowl
Underrated: Florida State scoring 37 to beat Northern Illinois 37-19 last week
3) Overrated: Bert & Ernie
Underrated: Gonzo and his chickens
2) Overrated: Alabama playing Jalen Hurts in more than four games
Underrated: NIN playing The Perfect Drug live
1) Overrated: Playing football
Underrated: Jeremy Larkin’s health, the medical staff catching his condition in time to prevent a tragedy, and being able to fall back on a Northwestern education
Sorry if this column sucked, I wasn’t my fault …
The column stalled, and I was going to get points out of it, but …