Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Wild, Crazy, Historic Start For All The New Coaches

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Wild, Crazy, Historic Start For All The New Coaches

College Football Cavalcade

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Wild, Crazy, Historic Start For All The New Coaches


The sure-thing, 100%, rock-solid lock, sell the house, sell the kids, no doubt about it picks of the century for this week

PICK SO FAR: 11-1 SU, 5-7 ATS

Embarrassing. Inexcusable. I’m actually rocking so far overall on the site – 8-0 ATS last week on the MAC – but you don’t care. You’ve been failed the last two weeks, and now I’m about to make up for it.

Fortunately, these picks are all correct …

– Rutgers +3 over Kansas
– Vanderbilt +14.5 over Notre Dame (ND straight up)
– Oklahoma State -3 over Boise State
– LSU +9.5 over Auburn (Auburn straight up)
– Duke +6 over Baylor
– Oregon State +4 over Nevada
– Fresno State -1 over UCLA

This week’s reason I’m being “punished” by being put on “paid administrative leave” …

I’m not Jewish, but I was invited to Rosh Hashanah dinner. The one caveat: I was never to let anyone know we had pork ribs – or that we watched the men’s US Open final. The secrets are safe with me. The ribs were fabulous, but I really, really could’ve used some painkillers for that bris thing.

C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …

The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world

5) Overrated: “I’m a man, I’m 40.”
Underrated: “I have a DAUGHTER.”

4) Overrated: Two first round picks
Underrated: Khalil Mack

3) Overrated: Willis Reed
Underrated: Aaron Rodgers

2) Overrated: All pro and FBS college teams in Michigan going 2-7 so far
Underrated: 2-0 Eastern Michigan

1) Overrated: Trying to stir something up by suggesting the Big Ten is taking a big hit in the CFP race after the key losses
Underrated: Going 12-1 and winning the Big Ten Championship

Sorry if this column sucked, I wasn’t my fault …

I’d rather lose than cheat, even though my coach for this column was totally coaching me on what to write from the box. Yes, on a big stage like this, it should’ve all been blown off and should never, ever have been called – especially because everyone else does it – but it was.

So instead of fighting through the moment and getting the job done, I wrote this loser column, and then whizzed all over an inferior columnist’s great achievement and superior performance by complaining about the controversy. I demand an apology.


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