Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Wild, Crazy, Historic Start For All The New Coaches

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Wild, Crazy, Historic Start For All The New Coaches

College Football Cavalcade

Cavalcade of Whimsy: The Wild, Crazy, Historic Start For All The New Coaches

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Five Cavalcade of Whimsy footballey opinions and, like, other stuff

5. Mmmmmmmm … 

I started to look, got bored, and stopped. So I’m just going to assume that this is right, and if someone wants to prove me wrong, you’ll be labeled a god and shall be treated and praised as such.

I’m making the bold call that when ULM travels to College Station to face Texas A&M, it’s going to be the sandwichiest regular season sandwich game of all-time. And why?

Texas A&M faced No. 2 Clemson last week, and then gets ULM, and after that? Assuming there’s no massive upset, No. 1 Alabama.

The challenge flag has been thrown. Go find a something tastier. On flatbread.

4. The panic quarterback transfer

It’s the trendy thing for a quarterback who loses out on a starting gig to get out to play somewhere else. Forgetting for a moment that the guy is supposed to like the school he chose for, you know, school, it does make sense.

Some coaches will rotate their quarterbacks, but for the most part – let’s not count kicker and punter – it’s the only position that needs one guy at a time. If you’re a center, you could move to guard, a nose tackle could move to end, etc. So if there’s just no hope of ever seeing the field, and you’re a talented quarterback, okay.

It makes the most sense if you’re a grad transfer – like Jalan McClendon going from NC State to Baylor, since there was no chance of playing with Ryan Finley there. Joe Burrow leaving Ohio State to LSU was about as good a lateral move as it gets, but for too many young players, they’re sort of hosed  by the luck of the draw.

Nebraska’s Tristan Gebbia bailed for Oregon State when super-recruit Adrian Martinez was named the starter. However, the quarterback gets occasionally blasted in the Scott Frost offense. Sure enough, Martinez got dinged in his first game – thankfully, not that badly – and Gebbia might have been able to step right in and be a big part of the program if he stayed.

The same goes for Illinois. Starter AJ Bush – a transfer from Virginia Tech – is gone for the year with a leg injury just a few days after 2017 starter Cam Thomas left the program. Thomas was the No. 2 guy throughout practices, but now it’s MJ Rivers or bust.

Could KJ Carta-Samuels have become the UCLA starting quarterback? Probably not, but when Wilton Speight went out against Cincinnati with a back injury, yeah, the Bruins probably win with him.

There’s no right answer here. Quarterbacks want to play, but the cliché holds – you’re only one play away …

3. Why the old poll-and-bowl system really, really sucked

Arizona State beat Michigan State 16-13. I watched it. It was entertaining.

It finished up very, very late, but there’s still no excuse.

In the latest Coaches Poll, your 24th-ranked team? Michigan State. The 25th-ranked team?

Arizona State.

Meanwhile, after coming so painfully close to beating No. 2 Clemson, that Texas A&M isn’t in the top 25 in either poll is just as big an indictment of how screwed up these things are.

2. USC vs. Stanford

USC and Stanford played on Saturday night. Maybe you saw it, but you probably didn’t.

No biggie – it’s just a rematch of the 2017 Pac-12 Championship involving one of the biggest brand names in college sports vs. one of the game’s most exciting running backs in Bryce Love.

But there were well over a million more TV viewers for Penn State vs. Pitt, and there was that Clemson vs. Texas A&M thing that was well on its way to becoming a classic by the time the two Pac-12ers kicked off.

And then, worst of all, the 17-3 Cardinal win was zzzzzzzzzzzzz, meaning there was no way the average fan was turning away from the Tigers and Aggies.

Why is the Arizona State thing such a big deal? The Pac-12 needs something. It’s marquee moments and games just can’t be this boring. By the way, for the Stanford opener against San Diego State …

1. Turnover chain

One of my favorite parts of the college football weekend happened on Thursday night.

SMU came up with a turnover, followed up with a celebration on the sidelines with its turnover crown and chalice. 30 seconds later, cut away from the happy Mustangs, and TCU was returning a fumble for a touchdown.

Nothing against SMU, but I’m openly rooting against any Turnover Chain knockoff.

The Miami Hurricanes created the craze. They own it. When they do it, it’s cool. When anyone else tries to come up with a Señor Spielbergo version, it’s like when your mom comes home with a case of Cola and boxes of Wheat-Os and Toaster Tarts.

Only Wisconsin gets to play Jump Around. Only South Carolina gets to open to Sandstorm. Only Clemson fans get to run on the field after a game no matter what. Only Texas A&Mers get to #MeToo-approved kiss their dates after scores. And only Iowa fans get to … actually, everyone gets to wave at sick kids.

And only Miami should get to do this …

NEXT: The sure-thing picks of the century for this week

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