Cavalcade of Whimsy Kickoff 2018: New CFP Teams, The New Star Programs, Tua vs. Jalen

Cavalcade of Whimsy Kickoff 2018: New CFP Teams, The New Star Programs, Tua vs. Jalen

Cavalcade of Whimsy

Cavalcade of Whimsy Kickoff 2018: New CFP Teams, The New Star Programs, Tua vs. Jalen


New College Football Playoff teams, the Alabama quarterbacks, and the supposed greatness of Notre Dame … in the Cavalcade of Whimsy kickoff.


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Sorry if this column sucks, it’s not my fault …

It’s the University of Maryland’s fault after accepting full responsibility … and yet, only a trainer has been fired so far.

It’s Brett McMurphy’s fault … he obviously has a personal agenda against it.

It’s Stadium’s fault for conducting an interview … because nobody does high-brow, elitist, lame-street liberal media bias like the Sinclair Broadcasting Group.

It’s Courtney Smith’s fault … because there’s nothing more fun, fun, FUN than having a horrific nightmare analyzed, questioned and commented on by Ohio State football fans.

It’s the War On Football people’s fault … because this column, along with the new kickoff rule, could bring down America.


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Because I’ve spent the last several weeks writing and commenting on horrendous and terrible things, I need some fun. Not everything about college football is awful. Let’s go … 

I’m conflicted. Because it’s obviously up to me, I haven’t quite decided what I want out of my 2018 college football season.

I want to be totally surprised – but I don’t.

I want to be totally and completely wrong about what I know to be true – but I also want form to hold.

Sorry …

I want the biggest of the big boy programs to be fantastic – but I want something new.

What I don’t want is for a mish-mosh of upstarts and powerhouses among the four teams in the College Football Playoff, like Alabama, Clemson, Colorado and Purdue. America doesn’t want that. It would be bad for our country, our values, and our property taxes.

Part of me wants a killer of a final four.

In an I-root-for-Tiger-or-the-Patriots-or-Hans-Gruber-to-win-because-I-want-to-see-greatness-on-display sort of way, I’d love for Alabama, Clemson, Ohio State and Georgia to wipe up the floor with everyone on the slate – with Bama and Georgia playing a close battle in the SEC Championship – to create an epic CFP.

There’s actually no need to play the season. Those are the four best, most talented teams no matter what the records and what happens.

However, part of me wants to see four totally new programs get a chance to shake Bill Hancock’s hand.

Wisconsin, USC, Miami and LSU. Those are hardly Little Engine That Could schools, but they’d bring a new energy to the playoff as first-timers.

Or, imagine a CFP with Michigan, Texas, Florida and Virginia Tech, or Penn State, Stanford, Oklahoma State and Notre Dame.

We’re due for a crazy shift in the playoff. We need to order something different from the menu than the Quarter Pounder with Cheese value meal.

But the getting the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese works, too. I’m not going to complain if I’m watching Bama-Clemson III in Santa Clara on January 7th.

I’ll decide what I want in a few weeks, and then I’ll let you know what will happen.

Kickoff Cavalcade of Whimsy 
Tua vs. Jalen: What if? | Notre Dame is Old
COW Footballey 5 | COW Picks & Predictions

NEXT: The Tua vs. Jalen What If?

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