2017 Crowley Sullivan’s Preseason Thoughts & Prayers
Crowley Sullivan is a 20-year sports-media veteran having spent ten years at ESPN as a producer, programmer, content creator, business developer, and brand manager. He now serves a EVP, Planning/GM, Sports for MandtVR, a content creation platform that emphasizes Virtual Reality initiatives.
Bother Crowley at @CrowleySullivan
Thoughts & Prayers – After Week 3
LOUISVILLE’S BUSTED LIP
I’m not saying that Louisville is a fraudulent lemon.
All I’m saying is that Louisville can stand tall and proud in the way a tapeworm does.
TOO MUCH COWBELL
I’m not saying that Coach O is a rum-running, gum-chomping harlequin.
All I’m saying is that if Coach O can learn how to speak English, he can potentially earn a living as a traveling vacuum-cleaner-salesmen across the entire state of Louisiana in the not-too-distant future.
TEXAS vs USC – CLASSIC GAME, BUT…
The only thing missing was Gunther Gabel-Williams sticking his head into a sabertooth tiger’s mouth.
Welcome to the show, Sam Ehlinger. Spectacular final drive – win or lose, that was one for the ages.
Sam Darnold – this was jawdropping –
But, the whole thing was practically ruined when I couldn’t decide who is more loathsome as they were repeatedly featured on the Longhorns sideline, Matthew McCoughneoughey or Roger Clemens.
I totally believe Roger Clemens when he says he didn’t do steroids. This was not the behavior of a man on steroids –
McCoughneheyhey – this makes me want to go out and be great but mostly it makes me laugh and sort of cringe and also wonder if Oklahoma has Forrest Whitaker lined up for a pregame speech any time soon –
Anyway – thanks for a great football game, Texas and USC.
BACHELOR IN PARADISE
Give Jess Palmer credit.
He went an entire weekend without referencing the way Canadian high school football players have an advantage over American high school football players due to their quickness as a result of some of the schools in remote areas playing seven-on-seven.
Jesse, however, provided some interesting insight following Florida’s amazing and fairly miraculous victory over Tennessee when he suggested that Florida’s offense has returned.
I agree with Jesse in the way that I think that Jay Cutler is beginning to really harness his potential as an upper tier NFL quarterback.
FINEBAUM WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG – BUTCH JONES IS A CHAMPION OF LIFE
THE CAPTAIN OF CLARENDON HILLS AND HIS BOILERS
I can’t take full credit for the deft observation since The Captain of Clarendon Hills came up with it – but even during kill time of Dabo’s beat down of the Market Street Commandos, Herbie alluded to a very interesting development –
Football appears to be rising like a vampire in West Lafayette.
SUNDAY MORNING COLLEGE FOOTBALL RECOVERY CHECKLIST
With regard to Doris Kearns Goodwin on Meet The Press –
Plagiarism – check.
Never-will-die sycophantic schoolgirl obsession with John F Kennedy and LBJ – check.
Looks like Montgomery Burns’ twin sister – check.
ED KOCH AS CELEBRITY GUEST PICKER?
Speaking of Doris Kearns Goodwin, I see that ESPN has made the clever decision to bring their road show circus to New York City this coming weekend.
I can understand how ESPN might be distracted and unable to make cogent decisions related to the content creations that have made ESPN what it has become – which is, of course, our country’s moral compass and leading thought-driver/provocateur when it comes to sociopolitical, economic, and cultural issues.
But GameDay broadcasting live from New York City makes about as much sense as Meet The Press broadcasting live from the basement of the Sigma Chi house in Columbia, SC on the Saturday morning of the Cocks’ battle against Dabo.
I read an interesting note on a Notre Dame site in its preview of the Irish’s upcoming tussle with long time neighborhood rival, Michigan State.
The note said this: “Michigan State has played Notre Dame tough over the years and the Irish should not take this game for granted.”
Does Michigan State’s record of 11-7 over the Irish since 1997 qualify as “playing Notre Dame tough?”
Perhaps more importantly – this will be the last time these two schools will play one another until the year 2026.
This Saturday’s no-longer-annual version of “Respectful Hate” takes place in East Lansing but it’s worth noting that only one college football team has won more games at Notre Dame Stadium than Michigan State and that one football team is Notre Dame.
The scheduling challenge is, of course, due to Notre Dame’s sort-of-but-not-really-but-still-kind-of membership in the Atlantic Coast Conference.
Notre Dame insists on playing the service academies each year because Notre Dame is a very patriotic school.
I’m not saying that Notre Dame plays by its own unique set of malleable apothegms.
All I’m saying is that the Notre Dame community maintains that Pope Boniface VIII’s Unam Sanctum was a legitimate and reasonable Papal bull.
WEEKLY JAMES FRANKLIN CHECK IN
Penn State was up 56-0 with under eleven seconds left in the game.
Georgia State lined up to kick a field goal.
James Franklin called timeout.
Some speculated that Frankie called timeout in order to “ice” Georgia State’s kicker in an attempt to preserve the shutout.
Frankie did not like the notion that he was trying to ice the Georgia State kicker.
Frankie explained – rather tersely and with much contempt for the fact that he was being asked about the situation – that his timeout had something to do with his fourth string defense being on the field and how that needed to be remedied since the second string field goal defense needed to be on the field.
His explanation was confusing but that’s likely due to our ignorance of the sophisticated approach to properly defending field goals late in games with the score 56-0.
Remember when Penn State at least appeared to be admirable?
ONLY THING MISSING? CHO
This past Sunday morning, after listening to Montgomery Burns’ twin sister wax on about the nuanced differences between William P. Fessenden’s and Salmon P. Chase’s leadership traits at Treasury, I took in some of the NFL pregame programs across the dial.
Takeaway: those people that are on those shows are hilarious.
I didn’t get a lot of their jokes but they sure did laugh a lot and say a lot of things that made me think they must be funny.
I know the network execs are probably already on this – but – someone each show should do whatever it takes to add Margaret Cho to their program before one of the rival programs does.
Add Cho to your program and you’ll have NFL fans pleading for a four-hour pregame show.
Good stuff, guys!
AND AS HARD AS YOU TRY TO NOT LIKE HIM, YOU LIKE HIM…
Warning: Your unassuming Uncle Larry from Fond du Lac – the guy that has made more money than anyone will ever be able to count by being a very good, very boring, very by-the-book tax attorney and the guy who has a wife that is so plain-looking that you can actually see through her face and who has the personality of a middle-aged platypus and the same guy who has two children (your cousins) that are Rhodes Scholars and current Ivy League students that don’t watch television because it disrupts their focus – is coming to your house for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
And despite him not saying anything about it to anyone, it’s been confirmed that he just sold his “on-the-side” business that nobody can describe since it’s so boring and so confusing because it has something to do with providing small business owners with billing and software services and he sold it for somewhere around $54 million.
Wisconsin will make the College Football Playoff.
And the Badgers will win this year’s National Championship.