Teams & Conferences

Week 4 Final Thoughts, Predictions & Investment Advice


The conference schedules are kicking in with some monster matchups. Check out the final thoughts, a few predictions, and some investment advice for a smarter planet.


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Must … break … habit … of thinking … weird things will happen … on Thursday night games.

Just in case you happen to dabble …

Words one should never utter: Eastern Michigan as a three-point home underdog against Wyoming might be a gift. This Eagle defense can play.

SMU still isn’t good at playing college football, yet there’s always this vague notion floating out there among people I know and sort of like that the Mustangs are about to turn a corner. I don’t know why, and it sure as shoot isn’t going to happen against TCU. SMU can’t throw the ball a lick, and that’s a problem when you get down 21 early.

Weird things don’t happen on Thursdays; they happen on Fridays. I’m just not quite sure if that thing is going to be Utah looking snazzy on national TV, or Sam Darnold looking like the Next Big Thing at USC.

It beats teams named Lovie, and holds them to three yards rushing. It runs the option as effortless and effectively as anyone in college football, and makes you like it. It has a pair of red-hot head coaches barely old enough to get into Storks without an adult. It is … The Most Interesting Game In The World.

I don’t always guarantee Group of 5 games, but when I do, I prefer Western Michigan over Georgia Southern in K-Zoo.

See the MAC, feel the MAC, love the MAC. Ball State -3.5 at Florida Atlantic should be a lock, as long as the Cardinals don’t melt. This will be a war of attrition with cramps playing a huge role. And for the players, too.

Speaking of playing football inside a bowl of split pea soup, UCF has no business not rolling by an awful FIU team by more than a touchdown.

Army, Army, Army, Army, Army. If you haven’t figured this one out yet, ride the tank as it steamrolls over Buffalo. What’s the difference this year for the Jeff Monken Knights? 1) The passing game – for what it has to do – has been terrific – and 2) the defense has been stellar.

Week 3 of the Stay Away From East Carolina Games initiative continues. Virginia Tech is being dismissed because of the meltdown in Bristol, but this might be a really, really good team. Again, though, what’s Rule No. 2 when it comes to East Carolina games vs. relatively local Power 5 teams? You stay away from East Carolina games against relatively local Power 5 teams.

I’m sorry, but I can’t stop telling America that Syracuse is going to not only cover, but potentially win. Millions of lives have been lost and billions in damage was done thinking the Orange would stay with Louisville and beat South Florida. My bad.

Rule No. 1 when it comes to East Carolina games vs. relatively local Power 5 teams? YOU STAY AWAY FROM EAST CAROLINA GAMES AGAINST RELATIVELY LOCAL POWER 5 TEAMS.

Oh, by the way. Syracuse is going to beat Connecticut on the road.

You know what to do with that pick.

Something has to go horribly wrong for Michigan to not beat Penn State by three touchdowns. The Nittany Lion linebacking corps is taking a beating, and the defensive front four isn’t producing.

North Dakota State, Schmorth Dakota State. Just be careful with the Iowa -13 trap vs. Rutgers. There’s a chance the Scarlet Knight might be okay, but everyone bailed because of the Washington performance to start the season.

Wake Forest’s defense has been shockingly amazing so far. Just go do something else with your time other than worrying about Indiana winning by more than a touchdown.

What in the world has Iowa State shown you so far to make you think it knows where San Jose State is located, much less beat it at college football?

UMass has become way too scary. Of course Mississippi State should win by a bajillion, but the Minutemen are playing some D and it’s a strange fish-out-of-water moment for the SEC guys.

Minnesota had better be ready to roar now that it’s rested. Colorado State should get rolled, but the Gophers have a way of making everyone look like they don’t suck.

BYU doesn’t have an offense. 57-year-old Taysom Hill isn’t getting this thing moving, while a fresh West Virginia team might just be the real deal. At some point, these body blows BYU is taking with tough game after tough game will add up.

Really? You’re trying to figure out Rice vs. North Texas? Go play with your kids or something.

How much longer will the investment community milk that Appalachian State close call against Tennessee? Akron’s offense has been amazing against everyone but Wisconsin – Marshall just gave up another score as we speak. You, Appalachian State, sir, are no Wisconsin.

North Carolina can’t stop the run. Pitt can’t stop the pass. North Carolina is good at the pass. Pitt is good at the run. Do something with that.

No way, no how Southern Miss has two clunkers in a row. Yes way, yes how, UTEP is about to have a bad day.

Oklahoma State will beat Baylor outright. The 8.5-point cushion is an air horn from the gods making sure you notice.

Akron scored more points on Marshall than Louisville scored on Florida State. If the Cardinals care a lick, and aren’t already in Clemson, there’s no way the Herd hold them under 50.

Alabama just doesn’t jackhammer bad FBS teams into the ground. Of course the Crimson Tide will easily beat Kent State, but they might not score 44 points to accomplish whatever it is they’re trying to do.

Duke lost to Northwestern, while Notre Dame will spend the rest of the season trying to make someone care about watching Notre Dame again.

I’m never happy with any Vanderbilt pick I make. Even through WKU is good, it’s always okay to stay away from games when the SEC is the underdog to a Group of 5er. But that’s just how I was raised.

Wisconsin vs. Michigan State? Just … don’t. Whatever scenario you can come up with for this one will probably happen.

At some point, Trevor Knight will realize he’s Trevor Knight. Arkansas is there to help speed up the process.

God help you if you take Purdue as a -5 favorite against a bag of crumbled Funyuns, much less any FBS team that might go bowling.

Take that last blurb and replace Purdue with Kentucky, -5 favorite for -2 favorite, and Funyuns for Quisp.

Oregon -10.5 vs. a Colorado team likely without QB Sefo Liufau would be printing money, except it’s Oregon, and it’s probably going to do something stupid. Like wear uniforms that make them look like a bunch of (bleep)ing ducks.

If Washington is what I think it is, and Arizona is what I think it is – especially with a banged up backfield – the line is about ten points light.

In case you haven’t noticed, Georgia sucks at running the football ever since it faced a North Carolina defense that sucks at stopping the run. Ole Miss, this week, won’t suck at stopping the run.

By the way, I’ve pointed this out in various places, but I still think it’s cool, mainly because I’m dim. Ole Miss is playing its third game this year against a team with a freshman starting quarterback.

We don’t know enough about Louisiana Tech quite yet this year other than to know that we know you know you shouldn’t be doing anything with this Middle Tennessee game but watching it.

I’m picking Tennessee to beat Florida, but I’m wrong.

There are three things that scare me. The sleeper ISIS cell in my linen closet, olive bars, and picking Northwestern home football games. Nebraska will be in for a battle.

In this week’s episode of I Don’t Know Why, But Don’t … Houston. It’ll win easily against Texas State, and I Don’t Know Why, But Don’t.

I’m not wavering on my Boise State To CFP belief system, but Oregon State is better than you think.

Week 3 of my unnatural love for UNLV continues. Right on UCLA, wrong on Central Michigan, absolutely freaking swooning vs. Idaho.

LSU only a -3.5-point favorite against Auburn insults and demeans us both. You should be embarrassed for even bringing it up.

Uhhhhhhhh, you did see the first half of Texas vs. Cal, right? You really want to put that over/under of Cal vs. Arizona State at 83.5?

I’m a moron for picking UCLA over Stanford.

AND FINALLY …

I’m very, very aware that you are seeing other agents. And I think it’s good that you are. Finally, I mean it’s healthy. But, this is the thing. If you decide to sign with me, you’re gonna get more than an agent. You’re gonna get three people. You’re gonna get an agent, a mother, a father, a shoulder to cry on, someone who knows this business inside and out. And if anyone ever tries to cross you, or tells you to take South Florida +5 over Florida State, I’ll grab them by the balls, and squeeze ’til they’re dead.