Crowley Sullivan

Sullivan's Thoughts & Prayers: After Week 4

Crowley Sullivan is a 20-year sports-media veteran having spent ten years at ESPN as a producer, programmer, content creator, business developer, and brand manager.  He now serves a EVP, Planning/GM, Sports for MandtVR, a content creation platform that emphasizes Virtual Reality initiatives.

Bother Crowley at @CrowleySullivan

Thoughts & Prayers: Week 1 | Week 2 | Week 3

PALMETTO PUNCH

Someone with “very good sources” – they all are – reached out this week suggesting that Coach Pitino wasn’t keen on Coach Petrino rolling into The ‘Ville on his hog when that all went down.

Right.

Because Coach Pitino has always prioritized integrity and all of that stuff.

Okay.

You think the Biker Gang’s success doesn’t sit well with Coach Pitino?

Coach Pitino is pleased about anything that takes him off the blotter.

But I digress.

This humongous SEC matchup is the one we’ve all been waiting for.

Wait – sorry – someone leaning over my shoulder just told me that this is not an SEC game. Can someone confirm that this Top 5 battle actually counts?

Lamar and Deshaun. Death Valley (the “other” one). Dabo. Frank Howard’s Rock. Tiger Rag. Two great teams diving head first into the deep end. Hell’s Angels on hand to handle security outside of the stadium. Bring it on.

FATHER KNOWS BEST – EXCEPT WHEN HE DOESN’T

In August, Paul Finebaum said, and I quote (again), “The state of Louisiana is very fortunate to have Les Miles as a father figure.”

Father Les and Father Time never found a way to coexist. And throughout this whole Les Miles Melodrama, LSU has illustrated how and why it’s a Banana Republic.

Who are these boosters who’ve been puppeteering this charade? Who are the university administrators who’ve been feeding the elephants their peanuts in this circus? Who thinks that Coach O is primed and poised to make this opportunity as an Interim Head Coach the one that’s going to be the one that works? Who among the LSU crowd is proud of what the school has done throughout this entire mess?

There are silver linings –
1) Father Les has something in the neighborhood of $10 million to ease his suffering.
2) The citizens of the state of Louisiana will benefit from Father Les being able to give 100% of his focus to fathering the state.

ROCKY MANTLE TOP

At about 8:15a cst on December 25th, 1980, I opened up a beautifully wrapped box that Kris Kringle had placed under the Tannenbaum. Once the unwrapping was complete, I discovered that I was the recipient of Atari.

My excitement reached such an extreme level that as I jumped around the living room, I banged my head on the mantle above the fireplace with such force that I rendered myself unconscious.

The rest of the morning was spent at the Emergency Room where I was eventually diagnosed with a fairly serious concussion and forced to sit in a dark room for the next few days while Atari collected dust.

Coach Butch and the Vol Nation just opened up a beautifully wrapped box and discovered that they now have Atari.

They must not, can not, should not lose their composure and they must avoid smashing their heads on the mantle above the fireplace.

It’s the biggest win since Tee Martin got it done. Don’t waste it, Vols. Fixate on Atari and this will wind up happening:

GEORGE PLIMPTON WAS A WONDERFUL PITCHMAN

Kirby’s Dawgs took a step back last week.

However, there is hope.

While the mainstream kids coveted Atari, some of the kids started to talk about something mysterious – Intellivision.

This Intellivision system dared to take on the big boy on the block. And, what made it all the more intriguing was the approach taken by Intellivision’s ad men.

George Plimpton was called upon to pitch this alternative gaming option.

And what better way to promote a video game machine than with an odd and sort of creepy slightly-older-than-middle-aged man with an indiscernible accent?

Georgia – Smoky is still celebrating after having slain the dragon. Now’s your chance to grab that spotlight right back.

Plimpton had the gumption to invade the space – follow his lead, Dawgs.

MAFFRA SAGE DERBY GOES GREAT WITH SCHLITZ

When Father Les and His Cajuns ventured up North a few weeks ago, they wound up confounded, beaten up, and punchdrunk.

Turns out that wasn’t just due to their Yankee surroundings and may have had something to do with the football players wearing Wisconsin uniforms.

The Badgers just opened up a can of Avonlea Clothbound Cheddar on Mark Dantonio and the Spartans.

The left-handed redshirt freshman quarterback who sliced and diced the Green & White defense is a left-handed redshirt freshman.

Paul Chryst went a little Les on everyone with some early 4th down gambles – and his band of bacon fat chompers plowed their way to a fairly impressive victory.

Don’t look now, but the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor’s football season starts this coming Saturday. And their opponent isn’t Penn State.

PAC 12 PANACHE

Memo to Rev. Paul and the Finebaumers:

The University of Washington is located, generally, in America’s “Pacific Northwest” and, specifically, in the state’s largest city, Seattle.

Stanford University is located in Palo Alto, California and is considered by many knowledgeable people to be one of the finest institutions of higher learning in the world.

These two schools field varsity football teams annually and they’ll complete against each other this coming Saturday inside of the University of Washington’s football stadium located on the school’s campus.

Presently, each of these teams has received enough votes from the various voting constituencies** to earn them rankings within the Top 10.

Despite not being members of the SEC, these rankings are recognized as official by the American public.

The winner of this week’s contest will be well positioned and may end up earning one of the four spots in the College Football Playoff.

See your local physician if this causes headache, heartburn, dizziness, or diarrhea.

(**Webster’s: a “constituency” is a body of voters in a specified area who elect a representative to a legislative body – the word is used here in a loose fashion to characterize the group of people responsible for the votes that make up the weekly college football rankings)

GOD AND MAN AT YALE vs THE CITY AND THE PILLAR

I’m not saying the Notre Dame/Duke football series is mostly comparable to the William F. Buckley, Jr/Gore Vidal political debates; I’m just saying that Reginald B. Butch’s illustrations in “Little Lord Fauntleroy” are very wonderful.

Kudos to King Cut for the win.

And to all of the folks from DUKE who took exception to my recent commentary on DUKE’S loss to Wake Forest – I’m still wiping the egg off of my face.

THE GRASS REALLY IS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE

Fitzy – things aren’t going so well.

Your young men are demonstrating maturity and citizenry in the community – but they aren’t quite executing the way many expected on the field of play.

This is understandable, what with the academic challenges they face.

What is not understandable, however, is the condition of the football field at Dyche Stadium (I know – it’s been Ryan Field for many years but, to me, it’ll always be Dyche Stadium).

It looks like Waukegan West High School’s football field circa 1986.

Get a gardener to pour some water on that field.

Feed it some fertilizer.

Do something.

Anything.

That might be the first step towards playing winning football.

BUCKEYE BRAVADO
A whole lot of Buckeye Bravado whipping around out there for a bye-week….

Nfm.

SAD, ORNERY, AND WEIRD VALLEY

Losing in a tight game to a non-rival rival is another.

But getting destroyed 49-10 to a Blue Blood that’s supposed to be an actual rival?

That’s what might make the folks at Penn State stand up and fight for the integrity of The Grand Experiment.

JFrank – you’re on borrowed time.

QUACK ATTACK

The orange duck leggings and orange facemasks designed to mimic the duck’s bill were nifty and clever and fun.

That’s been your game for a long time now.

And it’s all been interesting and colorful.

But what’s next – actual feathers adhered to the jersey?

Palmate-fitted shoes for home games and lobate-fitted shoes for road trips?

Will there ever be a time when actual ducks are suited up and sent in during Special Teams play?

The best part about the history of the fun associated with the Ducks’ get-ups and overall mojo?

Winning.

Time to get back to business in Eugene.

JUST REMEMBER RED – HOPE IS A GOOD THING, UNLESS YOU’RE THE MEN OF TROY

I read a piece of work written by a really important sports writer on a really cool sports website that attracted my attention with its headline.

The headline read: “USC’s Playoff Hopes Will Have To Wait Another Year.”

Huh?

Does that really important sports writer and the people of Troy need a refresher? Here’s one –

The Men of Troy have as much reason to have “playoff hopes” for the foreseeable future as Sen. Edward M. Kennedy (D, MA – may he rest in peace) had of appearing to posses dignity.

KEN STARR NEEDS TO GO SIT IN A DARK BASEMENT FOR A LONG TIME
The former president of Baylor University said, out loud and on television, “A grave injustice was done to Art Briles.”

Starr and Briles need their own late night talk show. Call the program “Is There A Specific Time Or Incident When Our Society Officially Lost Its Collective Marbles.”

END OF SEPTEMBER TOP 10
1. Lord Farquaad
2. Esophageal Spasms Nowhere In Sight
3. The Bandidos
4. Dabo
5. THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN AT ANN ARBOR
6. Barry Alvarez Is The Smartest Man In The Room/World
7. Things That Happen Outside of Silicon Valley Just Aren’t Important
8. Phi Slamma Jamma
9. Aggie Football Corps
10. “No – really – living here is great. I have nine different umbrellas and it’s fun to decide which one I’ll use each day.”
11. Atari
12. Life of Riley
13. West Florida Seminary